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Technology Information:

Send: The Essential Guide to Email for Office and Home

Description

When should you email, and when should you call, fax, or just show up?

What is the crucial—and most often overlooked—line in an email?

What is the best strategy when you send (in anger or error) a potentially career-ending electronic bombshell?

Enter Send. Whether you email just a little or never stop, use a desktop or a handheld, here, at last, is an authoritative and delightful book that shows how to write the perfect email—at work, at school, or anywhere. Send also points out the numerous (but not always obvious) times when email can be the worst option and might land you in hot water (or even jail!).

The secret is, of course, to think before you click. Send is nothing short of a survival guide for the digital age—wise, brimming with good humor, and filled with helpful lessons from the authors’ own email experiences (and mistakes). In short: absolutely e-ssential.

An April 2007 Significant 7 Editors' Pick: Funny, engaging, and oh-so-practical, Send is the ultimate etiquette handbook for email, making David Shipley and Will Schwalbe the "Miss Manners" resource for the digital age. Full of practical insights, Send is an invaluable resource for anyone who uses email, and is guaranteed to help you "think before you click." We are not the only fans of this important book. We asked psychologist, science journalist, and bestselling author Daniel Goleman to read Send and give us his take. Check out his exclusive guest review below. --Daphne Durham

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Guest Reviewer: Daniel Goleman

Daniel Goleman is an internationally known psychologist who lectures frequently to professional groups, business audiences, and on college campuses, and is the author of many bestselling books, including Emotional Intelligence and most recently, Social Intelligence.

Poor Michael Brown. During the darkest days of the Hurricane Katrina debacle, Brown, then director of FEMA, the agency that so badly bungled the rescue efforts, sent this email: "Are you proud of me? Can I quit now? Can I go home?"

Emails can come back to haunt us--any of us. Few among us have mastered this medium, and only slowly are we realizing its dangers.

From the earliest days of email people "flamed", sending off irritating or otherwise annoying messages. One explanation for the failure to inhibit our more unruly impulses online is a mismatch between the screen we stare at as we email, and the cues the social circuits of the brain use to navigate us through an interaction effectively: on email there is no tone of voice, no facial expression. When we talk to someone on the phone or face-to-face these circuits would ordinarily squelch impulses that will seem "off." Lacking these crucial cues, flaming occurs.

It's not just flaming--I've sent my fair share of emails that were, in retrospect, embarrassing, too familiar or formal, or otherwise wrong in tone. Email invites these lapses in social intelligence in part because the social brain flies blind. In the absence of the other person's real-time emotional signals we need to take a moment to shift from focusing on our own feelings and thoughts, and intentionally focus on the other person, even in absentia, and consider, How might this message come across?

The peril of being off-key is amplified by the temptation to hit SEND prematurely: before we've thought it over and had a chance to ease up on that too-stiff tone, drop that bit of sarcasm, and remember to ask about the kids.

In the old days of letter writing--a dying art--we had plenty of time to rewrite before sealing the envelope, and so flaming letters were far more rare than red-hot emails. And so the brave new world of email could benefit from a civilizing force, a voice that articulates the ground rules online.

Enter Send: The Essential Guide to Email for Office and Home, a new book by David Shipley (an old friend of mine) and Will Schwalbe. Send not only articulates the way to win--or keep--friends online, but offers practical tips on both email etiquette and on the writing style most suitable.

In this witty and wise book Shipley and Schwalbe give essential guidance on vital matters like the politics of using Cc (nobody likes to be left out); when to just reply and when to "Reply All"; the danger of the URGENT subject (too many and you cry wolf); fine-tuning your greetings to fit the relationship (if you use the wrong one, you can lose them at hello); how best to apologize online (put the word 'sorry' in the subject or else the email may never be read).

But Send is far more than Miss Manners for the Web; it's brimming with fascinating insights. For example, now that email has become the way we talk, showing up in person has added impact as the ultimate compliment, signifying that the person, meeting or project has special importance for you.

Years ago a slim volume by Strunk and White, The Elements of Style, laid out the ground rules for good writing; the book became a bible for authors, widely known just as "Strunk and White." Send should make Shipley and Schwalbe the "Strunk and White" for the Web. --Daniel Goleman (www.danielgoleman.info)

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Reviews

Rating: 3 / 5
Date: 2009-08-07
Summary: "Easy read, some good points"

There are some good tips in this book and it was a quick, easy read, but I think most of the tips could have easily been summed up in a blog article.

What I really wanted was more focus and tips on email tone. The authors nail it that people can have drastically different interpretations of emails based on their inner feelings and fears. However, I don't think they fully addressed how to style emails, especially work emails.

I also wish they would have given some suggestions or case studies of how to get one's organization to improve email courtesy and management.

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Rating: 4 / 5
Date: 2009-06-25
Summary: "Informational and Entertaining"

It's nice when a "business" book both is interesting to read AND can have the effect of changing your life. Which it did - It is definitely one of the best things I read as far as getting you to understand when NOT to email.
I have both quoted from this book to family and friends and given the book as a gift to several people at work. This book will truly give you a better understanding both from the sender side and the reader side as well.

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Rating: 5 / 5
Date: 2008-09-30
Summary: ""Native speaker's" grammar book of e-mail"

If you are naturally good at writing good e-mails, how do you teach someone else to compose better e-mails? It's like being a native speaker and trying to teach someone your language without knowing anything about grammar. You would need a textbook and here it comes!

I actually got this book because I receive bad e-mails way too often. Time after time I'm shocked by how many people do this -- customers, colleagues, you name it! So in order to understand these offenders better I bought this book -- just as the subtitle of the book suggests.

How would they not know these obvious things, I ask myself? This book helps you to get back to basics. It lays out things that sound trivial in a way which is never boring or dull. And as much as you think you know all this stuff already, you will certainly find a couple of useful advices from it.

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Rating: 4 / 5
Date: 2008-03-02
Summary: "Don't give it away, you'll never get it back!"

In these days of constant email, anything that helps educate about good email use and etiquette is a good idea in my book.

We immediately implemented some of the suggestions made in this book. But as with anything, rules are meant to be broken, so take it for what it's worth.

This was so hot in my office that it made all the rounds - and I never got it back! It's a good, quick read and very actionable.

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Rating: 4 / 5
Date: 2008-02-24
Summary: "Short and sweet"

... perhaps itself a bit like an email! I personally prefer email for most of my communications, and I think my kind don't get a totally fair shake in this book. Email can have its advantages in charged situations. Like a letter, you have time to think about exactly what you want to say, and if necessary, you have time to calm down. If you're struggling with strong emotions, your face and/or voice will probably show them; if necessary, you can keep these to yourself in an email.

Email also has the advantage of keeping a record of a long-past agreement. There's a reason most contracts aren't verbal. If you're like me and need to establish complex agreements with large groups of people, email is invaluable. When that pesky IT guy comes back and swears that we promised him 100 hours of free service, we can say sweetly, no, if you look at the meeting notes we sent last month, there's no mention of it. And, unfortunately, here's another email indicating that you signed off.

However, I give this book four stars, because it offered up some surprise insights, even for a hardened emailer like me. Most people have had at least one experience of unintentionally offending (or taking offense to) their fellow emailers. My approach has always been to take extra care when writing about a potentially difficult subject. However, this book explains the fundmental cause of such difficulties. It's not that email is a bad medium; it's a medium with no underlying context, which means even a neutral email serves as a screen onto which the reader projects his or her own anxieties. I believe that's why most of us try hard to make our messages friendly, and I, unlike the book, have no trouble with judicious use of smilies. A message can't be mean if it's got a smiley! (-:

I do have a specific contradiction to one piece of advice in this book: if you send a message you didn't intend to, do NOT use Outlook's message recall service. (1) All your recipients will receive the message anyway; (2) If they make the mistake of clicking on your recall message, it will tie up the host email program; (3) it will leave the original message in its place, just waiting to do damage, and (4) you have now called special attention to it with your futile attempts undo your mistake. Treat it like it's US mail. Once the message is out of your inbox, you ain't never taking it back.

My office keeps a copy in the bathrooms, because we're uncultured that way. I must admit, this is a perfect book to dip into during a visit to the office loo.